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5 Sep 2020

Six Month Angelvursary

Author: brownie1201 | Filed under: Uncategorized

Six months ago today Brownie and I said Goodbye.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like so long ago.  I think the ones who have been through this journey know exactly what I mean.  Even though Brownie’s last day was heartbreaking, I did feel a sense of relief.  A sense of relief, because I knew he would never be in pain again.  A few hours before Brownie crossed over, he hopped up to me, looked me right in the eye and wagged his tail.  I was feeling guilty that maybe we said goodbye too soon.  Then Sally, who is always right, said it is better to have a good memory then a bad one.  Well, I have been doing a lot of reading, and have read that our pets know when they are going to pass over, and will leave us a memory moment.  Something they have not done before, or have not done in awhile.  Brownie had not hopped up to me like that in over a week, but he used to do that several times a day.   I now know that Brownie was giving me a memory moment.  He was telling me “Mom I know it’s time, but it’s going to be ok.  I will still be with you”.  I can not get that picture out of my mind.  On March 5, 2019 I did not let my feelings show, because this day was about Brownie, not me.  After he crossed over I didn’t cry much.  I thought “what’s wrong with you?”  It turns out, even though I was with him when he crossed over, I was in denial.  I kept waiting for him to hop around the corner.  I would constantly get up to go look for him.  I even found myself in the toy aisle picking out  a new toy.  When the day came to collect Brownie’s remains, I was excited.  Brownie is coming home!   But when they brought out a bag of  his remains, foot print, and fur clipping, It hit me hard! I lost it right in the middle of the vet’s office.  At that moment I realized Brownie is not coming home.

I could not pack up Brownie’s things and throw them in a closet.  So I made a nook.  I would like to thank the ones that contributed to Brownie’s nook.

Jim (Admin Guy) The popular Brownie Banner that always pops up when I need to see it the most.  My heart skips a beat every time I see it.

Rene (Jerry) I have one of my beautiful Tripawd Necklaces hanging over Brownie’s urn, and another piece you sent me hanging over one of his pictures.

Sally – The beautiful cardinal dish, and the note that you wrote I keep inside the dish. I am continuing to search for the cardinal.  Aso, the card “Sunshine”.  The song I always sung to Brownie, “You are My Sunshine”.

Jackie – The card you made of Brownie and Grizzly.  It reminds me of such good times!  I remember when I use to say to Brownie “Go Get Grizzly”.  Brownie would run up to Grizzly’s door, bark as if he was telling him to come out and play.

Bev – I have the two beautiful stones sitting in a dish from Italy.  They are just beautiful!  I am still researching them, and will use them to connect with Brownie.

Lana – Thank you for the gift book “Every Dog An Angel”.  I have read it several times, and it brings me comfort.

Paula – The beautiful card you posted when Brownie passed sits next to his urn.  I have not taken the necklace off since I received it.  I will always carry Brownie’s heart in mine, as you do for Nitro.

Karen – The first post you wrote “I would take hate the vet into consideration”.  I am so happy we did, and was happy that someone else understood the reason I made the decision I did.  I have a copy of the post in a Memory Book that is filled with letters and poems I wrote to Brownie when we started this Journey.

Ava’s Mom – The post you wrote about Brownie’s journey thanking him for helping you through your own journey .  That means so much!

Today is bittersweet.  Today is Brownie’s six month Angelversary, but also the day Kenzie comes out of quarantine due to the mange.  I think Brownie knew I would be sad today, and wanted me to have something to celebrate.  That is just who Brownie was/is.  Always thinking of Mom. Some of you say I have a heart like no other, and I really didn’t get it.  But now I know. Brownie is not in my heart, He is my heart!  He is the one that has a heart like no other!  Years ago I bought a plaque that reads “I want to be the person my dog thinks I am”.  I hope I was the mom that Brownie wanted, and so deserved!  Brownie made me a better person!

My Dear Beloved Brownie, You rescued me in so many ways! I am so sorry I was unable to rescue you…

I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you always!

 

5 Responses to “Six Month Angelvursary”

  1. benny55 Says:

    Okay Nancy, you did it again! Crying and smiling at the same time! The thought that you have put into this post and my goods, what a big heart you have!❤

    I understand the emotion you had when you went to pick up brownies ashes. I know that, for me, I do have a feeling of excitement knowing that I’m bringing my beloved companions back home just stay with me forever. And yes, I ball like a baby at the same time.

    What you have put together just leaves me speechless. The Rose……..perfect choice. Just perfect.

    One thing that stands out is how happy Brow ie is, always smiling, tail wagging. Even when he was stretched out sleeping I think he was smiling.

    When he approached that cupcake he was being so respectful the cupcake! I guess he was waiting for permission?

    He really, really was is so stunning,y handsome.
    Strikingly gorgeous. Such a beautiful coat. Truly a “chocolate ” Lab.

    Nancy, those eyes just captivated me. So gentle, so loving…truly could see into your Soul..

    And then the way you introduced us to Kenzie could not have been more beautiful. I have to say, not only was it so heartwarming g, but it made me laugh too. The reason I laughed was the stark contrast between your exquisitely handsome boy and the adorable Kenzie…….the adorable Kenzie with the cute ears, the scars, the rag muffin skin appearance………I’m not explaining it very well. Kenzie is of course beautiful. But she is continuing to become even more beautiful everyday .
    Brownie knew you would see her inner beauty as well as her outer beauty.

    I’m just so honored to know you Nancy. You are all heart.

    The tribute you put together really does celebrate a magnificent bond the two, of you shared. Your love for Brownie and his for you came through in that video. Really, you could feel the love that flowed through you both.

    And now Kenzie will find her own special place in your heart right next to Brownie’s. She will be loved for who she is. Just as Brownie is loved for who he is and will NEVER be forgotten by any of us. He is so proud of you. He is so proud you are opening up your heart again to a puppy Soul who needs you so badly. I have no doubt you saved her life. No doubt.

    Thank you for this wonderful video honoring your beloved Brownie. He is indeed, “Beloved Brownie”.

    Love to you Nancy❤

  2. jerry Says:

    So. BEAUTIFUL! In every way, Nancy, you have captured the spirit of Brownie and all that he was put on this earth to do. He chose you to share his wisdom and joyful approach to life (treats? ALWAYS!), and I know that somewhere he is beaming with pride at his mama.

    Thank you for inviting us to Brownie’s six month angelversary celebration of life. The love & TLC you put into the video and his nook just shines through and lights up the sky!

    This celebration is exactly what he wants. No tears, just pure joy at being alive and in tune with his heart.

    Much, much love to you on this very important milestone.

  3. paws120 Says:

    “My Dear Beloved Brownie, You rescued me in so many ways! I am so sorry I was unable to rescue you…

    I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you always!”

    Nancy, don’t you realize that you DID rescue him?! And you DID save him… you saved his life many years ago. Remember the dog with the chain around his neck? The dog that lived outside? The dog that got no attention and no love 😭😭😭

    You rescued him and saved him from a life of neglect and pain. You showed him love, and you treated him like a prince. I think you saved each other. Your hearts ARE intertwined together and will be forever.

    You gave each other hope, and his love will radiate in you always. You gave him a chance to shine, and shine he did! You never failed him. And he taught you that it was ok to love again, unconditionally.

    Your tribute is so breathtaking. Your video could not have been better if you hired a professional. It captured his essence and it captured your love for him.

    And no worries, Brownie will never be forgotten. Neither will you.

    Lots of love,
    Jackie and Huck 💖💖💖

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